I don't know why the LCD output doesn't work for you, it should.
Your success with operating the relay board from the SSRs and the PoKeys relays tell me the 4 OCx outputs could be used with the relay board. I have attached a wiring diagram.
one thing I was doing is using a relay to turn on the 120v to the kb controller with m3
You shouldn't turn the 120 VAC on and off with M3 and M4. The analog voltage from the PoKeys starts and stops the drive. You do want a manual switch to turn off the drive during tool change. Don't trust the computer with your fingers.
One of the relay board relays or a PoKeys relay can be used to switch the AC to the coil of the high power DPDT motor reversing relay. Unless you have a DC power supply with extra current I would stick with the AC relay for the reversing.