Right, I attach a copy of my macro. Copy the file, rename it by deleting my initials at the end of the filename (so it's just M900.m1s) and pop it in the folder C:\Mach3\macros\Mach3Mill.
You will need to edit the file in two ways. Open it using Operator/VB Script Editor, select and open M900.m1s, do the edits, save and close.
First, near the top there is a line:
PlateThickness = 38.84 'Touch Plate thickness is set here
Replace 38.84 with 40.5, which is your button height above the machine table.
Further down there is a line:
SetVar (2, 50) 'Retract height is set here
Replace "50" with the height to which you would like the tool tip to lift after referencing. It should be greater than the button height!
Do the operator/edit button script thing again, click on Auto Tool Zero, and replace the text you see with Code "M900", then click close, and OK to save this.
Now close Mach3 and re-open it. You should now find that you can use the tool zero button. You jog the tool to just above the setter (a couple of mm), click the zero button, and it should move down slowly at 50mm/min until it contacts. Then it stops, moves up 1mm, and moves down at 1mm/min until it contacts again. Then it rapids up to the retract height you set, sets the Z DRO to read this, and stops.