LOL!!!! Yeah, anti-virus is a lot like the TSA, I seem to get my bung hole stretched with either.

And both are the wrong ways to approach their respective problems.
When I was an IT manager for a global company, we used Cisco routers, switches, and firewalls to keep the viruses OUT of our networks. None of the workstations had a need for anti-virus software! They all ran fast like they were supposed to. But sadly, that kind of equipment is far too expensive for us mere individuals.

But I will say this... all that expensive Cisco stuff was cheaper than signing up for virus software/definition updates for all of the workstations. And it was really nice not having to worry about it. Even if someone brought a virus into the network internally, the switch would detect the malicious activity and shut down the port of the offending workstation and prevent others from being infected. Really really nice stuff!
But right now... I'm trying to figure ways to speed up the screen load process. Because 99% of our users have to have some sort of virus protection. It is a fact that most just have to live with. I haven't been infected since the late 90s when all of the MS Outlook "preview" exploits hit the scene. I started running MS Security Essentials because, at the time, it was light weight, and I figured it might protect me from future Outlook holes. And sure enough... no infection. One of the problems with my Win10 upgrade was that I had Security essentials installed on my Win 7 machine. And it left it there on the upgrade but it was incompatible with what it had morphed into with Win 10 (Defender). And the time I spent undoing all of that mess was akin to the time spend removing a virus! So yeah... I tend to agree that anti-virus is a virus unto itself.
BTW, sanity is a relative thing. Just like paranoia is. Just because you are paranoid, doesn't mean you are not right. And just because you may think you are insane, doesn't mean you are!
Steve